Process of Grief

I often forget Grief is forever, It comes and goes as it pleases. It doesn't discriminate and it doesn't care. I went to church on Sunday and it was AMAZING!! Man how I miss the worship and fellowship with others even though to be quite honest and frank, I don't know anyone on a name basis. But the connection you feel when you are surround by people who know the truth of Jesus is UNDENIBLE. But I also watched a sermon from my old church in Portland, One of the stories he talked about was when Lazerus dies. How even know Jesus knew he still wept, he was still burdened with the loss of his friend someone he loved and cared emensly for. I thought of that today, as I was watching a show at work while the kids were asleep, I suddenly became stricken, I started bawling for my friend Shasta, She would have turned 30 a couple weeks ago. I sat there with tears staining my cheeks, wondering What she would have looked like, She was so beautiful as a young lady. I am almost certain she would have been stunning. What would she have done with her life. Would she have gone to our friends wedding this coming October and celebrated with us. I felt an overwhelming need to Hug her. I mean reach out and hug her. Tell her I loved her and I miss her everyday. As I sat there feeling lost for awhile, I felt something touch my shoulder, I turned around and there was no one there, but I know it was her telling me she's still there. Even though I havent' needed her for awhile she's still there. I should have felt better, but I have this sense of need for her growing in my depth. So instead I pray to Jesus and ask him to help me loosen the depth of my grief. To greieve with me and to hold me but let me go when the time is right and this feeling of as it just happened passes. It will be 16 years this coming Feb 13th, She will now be gone 1/2 of my life. I forget in the daily rush of life that emotions and traumas are still present. But Jesus holds me so I know not to fear them when they come, He will protect me and he will help me be ABLE to do anything including conquering Grief when it comes and goes.

John 11,12 both chapters talk about Jesus and his compassion and love.

Song is Need To Breathe's ABLE. It's an awesome song. So blessed I loved Needtobreathe they are an amazing band. =)

Have a great Wendnesday May the lord bless you during your day and may you know it is him who helps you and heals you.